Cats who teach me to fly…

Alexis, together with Coco, Muffin, Macaron and the six kittens were bailed out from AVA early 2016. They are the cats that were trapped and sent to AVA at a nursery at Thomson.

As they are feral cats, we are unable to go near to them despite living under the same roof.

Alexis was a very active boy. He loved playing with kittens and treated them as one of his own. I always caught him grooming the kittens. He was not a trouble maker. Not once did I catch him fighting with other cats. He got along very well with all the cats and they love him very much.

Two months ago, he began to lose weight and ate very little. His blood test were normal and I thought nothing serious could happen to him. Perhaps antibiotic could solve the problem. Never have I thought that cancer would occur in him. How ignorant and irresponsible I was.

Alexis was a handsome boy. We sent him and the kittens to the adoption drive once. Someone was interested to adopt him but we preferred Alexis to be adopted with the kittens that he loved to be with. The adoption was unsuccessful and we kept Alexis with us and never put him up for adoption again.

Alexis loved to eat together with the cats at home. He loved Dahlia and her kittens so much and I always caught them sleeping together. Cashie, Monnie, Hugo, all of them love him. Although he never got close to me but he was often sleeping beside me at night. Whether I sleep in the hall or bedroom, he was often around.

Alexis has taught me the importance of prayer. He also helped me recollect my past lives memory, the familiarity of chanting.

I recite eight prayers for Alexis on alternate night. As usual, I do all I can to benefit Alexis and I am getting better with it! More confident! And more familiar!

I miss Alexis!

“…. It is, Ananda, as though from a mighty hardwood tree a large branch should break off, so has Shariputra now had his final passing away from this great and sound community of bhikkus. Indeed, Ananda, of that which is born, come to being, put together, and so is subject to dissolution, how should it be said that it should not depart? This, indeed, is not possible.”

(Buddha’s teaching when Shariputra or our loved one passes away)

Rescuing work is just like an addiction. It’s hard to give up because it involves lives and a compassionate heart. When your heart is deeply rooted with compassion, it’s hard to walk away from those who really are in need of help. And why should we stop? It makes no sense to me. I always tell Mel, not to worry about us not being able to stop rescuing. We definitely would one day when our body give way. So why the worry! 

We have spent more this year on both our home cats and the community cats. Miracle’s nose was bleeding and we had to send her for CT scan and it cost us more than 3k. There is nothing cancerous on her nose. Everyone thought it was… we are still looking for ways to help her.

I think Miracle is cute! Her temperament has improved a lot. She is so much friendlier now.

Next Bluz! He had an urinary tract infection. We sent him to Pets Avenue clinic and the vet suggested that we cut his penis. We had to send him to Dr Thatm for a second opinion. Dr Tharm removed the stones from his bladder and all is fine with him now.

It happened in May this year and at the same time, we brought a community cat we named him, Big Foot, with Bluz to Pet Avenue clinic too. Big Foot was a newly abandoned cat and he was all so skinny and we really had to see what’s wrong with him. 

Big Foot. Photo taken on May this year.

Above photo taken yesterday. 

I remember we brought him home during Hari Raya. Vet at Pets Avenue clinic said that he has early stage of lymphoma and he will have only a few months to live. So I decided to bring him home and give him his final months and now he booms! Into a fat cat! 

Snowy, our community cat at Whampoa went missing for three days and returned with a broken arm. We had her arm fixed with a pin in it and a few days after the surgery, out of nowhere Snowy’s red blood count dropped and was diagnosed with IMHA. However, she pull through. Her surgery was done on 31 July.  Dr Tharm did the surgery. And this was when the vet and client relationship started to strained I guess. 

I visited Snowy at the clinic everyday. I was so eager to return her life back. In my mind, it was like…. if only I did not fix her arm, all these wouldn’t have bappened…. She is home with us now and she is very fierce! She had a good amount of boiled fish in the evening. 

After Snowy, Miracle was next to be admitted to Island Vet. Guess the ‘relationship” strained further and it got worsen when i sent Citta to Dr Tharm…

Citta… my little Buddha Boy, like Miemi, I wouldn’t want to forget. If only just one vet would ask and understand why I think and feel Citta can survive and have a good long life, perhaps, Citta would have been still alive. Because no vet bother to listen and ask but only choose to believe in themselves, in their dead science, in what they see, there was absolutely no vet, not even Dr Tharm I can bring Citta to when he was feeling unwell… 

A total of 1166 candles were lighted up for him… and still lighting..

Citta had a little gathering with Cashie, Monnie and Dhalia.

Xinfu was our last rescued in 2017. It happened two weeks ago. He was trapped in a public storeroom for three weeks without food and water.

He was blind and had three seizures when we brought him to Island Vet. He got better with drips and medication and we found him a good fosterer. He is well taken care of.

The happiest thing that happened in 2017 was we got eight kittens adopted to good homes. That include Citta’s siblings.

And Bunny from Sembawang.

Ruby and Crystal.

Beside the cats. Mel and i met an accident and i had to scrap the vehicle as it was too expensive to repair. Luckily no cats was involved in the accident, I doubt the cats will survive. 

We consider ourselves lucky to survive. It’s a turning point for me in my career. I am all looking forward to the change I am going to make in 2018. First thing first is to meditate and practise the dharma everyday cos I am preparing myself to the pure land for the benefit of others…. For Miemi, for Citta…for the people in my feeding area…for all sentient beings…and for myself!

“Have I not taught you aforetime, Ananda, that it is the nature of all things near and dear to us that we must suffer separation from them, and be severed from them? Of that which is born, come to being, put together, and so is subject to dissolution, how should it be said that it should not depart? That, indeed, is not possible….”

(Buddha’s teaching when Shariputra or our loved one passes away)

The dharma teachings taught by Venerable Chodron ended last Friday. Her teachings have benefited me tremendously. Especially the topic on connecting with Buddha Amitabha. She affirmed my realizations. There was not one day that I went home without feeling joyful after attending her talk. There may be many dharma centre in Singapore, however, a good and wise teacher who is able to explain the dharma clearly and profoundly is hard to come by.

I have learnt how to transform our action to a virtuous one so that we can benefit others. To also recite sutra or chant a mantra to enable animals, especially my cats, positive karma to ripen when they are dying or after they die. The sutra and mantra can also leave imprint in their mind. The most important thing that I have never thought to benefit myself is to connect with Buddha Amitabha. This is to prepare myself to the pureland. We don’t just chant his name. We have to concentrate single pointedly when chanting his name and of course, keeping the precepts and practising the ten perfection and dharma is a must. 

There were many times I wanted to drop her a note telling her how much I have benefited from her teachings but I didn’t do it… 

I hope she will take care of her health so that she can come to Singapore next year again and year after another to give teachings and to benefit all of us. And I also hope to receive her teachings life after life in Samsara.

Meantime, I would read up the books that were written by her and start to practise to connect with Buddha Amitabha through meditation!:) I don’t believe in practising when I am dying…

Citta has left us more than a week ago… and I am still thinking what else can I do for him. To be exact, today is the 9th day after his departure. During these 9 days, grieving is inevitable. I have been browsing the net and read over and over again and see if there are more I could do for him. I have made donations, light up candles at home as well as in the temples. Reciting mantra and sutras. Reading the Dharma books. Feeding the community cats. At the end of each activity, I would dedicate the merits to Citta… I cannot redo what had been done but whatever action I do does affect Citta. 

I will make sure whatever I do not only benefit Citta but also bemefit other sentient beings. I have done more than I usually do everyday and thats for Citta…

Since Miemi left me 4 years ago, I have never stopped creating merits for her… 

Citta further taught me that there is nothing really nice or worth clinging on in samsara. The only thing that is worth for living beings to be here is to save lives. To help living beings understand Dharma and lead or guide them out of samsara. Beside this, there is really no reasons why we should be here. All pleasures are of meaningless to me cos it leads me to nowhere. 

I purposely did this photo for my mobile’s wallpaper. I love to carry them around cos I want to remember how they have transformed my life and I still love them so much.

May Citta have a favourable rebirth. May Citta have no fear.  Buddha and Bodhisattba of the ten directions and three times, please protect and guide Citta on his journey to his rebirth. 

May I be the one to guide him on his path to the pure land… (A lot of commitment here. For the benefit of others, I shall not and must not fall.) I must practise the dharma earnestly and sincerely.

When he left, Citta was fully conscious, unlike what the vets had said that he was brain dead. Citta was aware of his surroundings. He was aware of me, Mel and all the cats, sound and movement. He didnt die of seizure….

Citta was a brave boy! He fought and fought, one battle after another, never giving up. I call him my Buddha Boy cos of his persistence to live. With such persistence, he will and can become a Buddha one day and I strongly believe he would cos I have never come across a cat or even a human being like him. 

How much I wish I can still hold him in my arms, to shower him with my love.

No matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t defeat nature. We couldn’t defeat karma. But we could give him our love, attention, dedicate merits to him etc… 

So what has my Buddha boy, Citta taught me? There will bound to be changes in my life… And it will always be for the better good.

Nothing stays permanent. Not miemi, not Citta, neither can I! 

We have arranged a private cremation for Citta. Mel has helped alot. So much so that by saying thank you to her is not enough. That is why when I dedicate merits every time, she would be the first person I call out.

I took lots of videos on Citta. The way he walked, the way he twisted his backside and the happy moments of him. His departure further shows me the reality of samsara. It hurts… despite the fact that I have fully understood emptiness. I still wish I could still wake up in the middle of the night to watch him, feed him, sleep beside him and take care of him… and right now, I have to get used to live with life without my beloved cats as they depart, just like Citta, again and again and again…