I love them so much that it took me so long to write…
It was either I left him to die at home or I sent him to the clinic. The risk of sending him to the clinic was he might die halfway. I was gambling with his life at that point of time. If he could reach the clinic, he may survive the night and we shall see what we can do for him but if I did not take this risk, he was sure to die.
No, we didn’t make it. He died halfway. I carried him in my arms while I was driving and rushing him to the clinic after midnight. Vanilla’s red blood count was extremely low. I knew he lacked oxygen and no matter how hard I blew oxygen into his mouth, it was not going to help but I needed to try.
Vanilla, 8 May 2014 – 29 March 2021
Vanilla was a very sweet boy. His nick name was “drink milk milk”. He loved to be cuddled and carried. And I often cuddled him and gave him all the love that he wanted.
2 months old.
Vanilla had been with us for more than 6 years. I remember when we put the family up for adoption, all of them pretended to sleep in the adoption drives all the time. And we didn’t get a chance to find them a home. Who wants to adopt pets who aren’t active!
They are big now and Vanilla was the fairest!I made a hat to make fun of him.
The problem with rescuers is we always think that we are never doing enough for them. I really wish I could love him longer…
Benjo, June 2013 – 31 March 2021
Benjo was diagnosed with diabetes and we had to bring him home. Insulin was given to him twice a day to keep him going for another 4 years. Benjo had been with us for 8 years. We didn’t know his age. He had dementia a few months before he passed on and he was the sweetest boy who never needed me to worry about him. With all his teeth gone and suffering from dementia, we estimated him to be more than 15 years old.
When Benjo was a community cat.And everybody loves Benjo. He was a father to many!
We love him too. We never find him a burden or being troublesome. In fact, he was the easiest boy to take care and I miss feeding him with different kinds of food. Sometimes, I wish I could still feed him. He loves to eat and we never had to worry about his appetite. Through him, I see life is completely meaningless.
慈爱 departed 14 April 2021
We found 慈爱 very ill and we decided to bring her home and see her through. We gave her the food she loves and made her as comfortable as possible. We have been feeding 慈爱 for quite a while as well. Her main feeder refused to bring her home. I can’t bear the sight of her being ill and painful in the street so I decided to walk the last journey with her.
We chanted for them. Hoping to plant a positive seed in their mind.
The virus that had been going around has stopped. After this lesson, I learn to pay attention to each and every one of them and to love and cherish them even more. It was and still bitter but what’s life after all…
All conditions kept me from progressing more than a year ago. I tried many and all ways to get up to be on the Dharma path again but no matter how hard I tried, I just fell back. I opened the dharma book and when I began to read, I simply closed it. There was a force that stopped me from carrying on reading. It repeated again and again. That was my negative karma being ripened. Everything fell apart in every way.
I read Ajahn Brahm’s book “Falling is Flying” recently. It was encouraging. I remember someone posted on facebook, it goes something like this “Things fall apart in order to fall together”. I am not sure if mine falls together. I met a very good teacher who lifted me up and gave me lots of advice. She is well restrained in speech. As many Dharma practitioners would agree, to restrain in speech is the toughest precept to keep and virtuous action to practise. And after so many years, I finally found one who live up to the Buddha’s teachings. She is everybody’s role model. Whenever there is a disagreement with my friends, I would think of her and naturally am more careful with the words I use or maybe I would just keep quiet.
Venerable Wuling is a patient teacher. Well restrained in speech, skillful in dealing with problems. She thinks before she speaks and always considers the feeling of others. Whoever attended her classes are very fortunate. I have no chance as she is far away, however, I hope I am able to create a cause to meet her :).
May she remain strong and healthy. May covid19 come to an end immediately and may all sentient beings learn our lesson from this pandemic and be kind and humble to all living beings as well as towards our mother earth.
May my dream to meet her personally be fulfilled and may I begin a new path under her influence.
On the eve of 2020, I actually wrote a blog halfway and left it in the draft folder and it is still there. Yes! 13 cats were rehomed! Mel did a good job! I rescue and she rehome. I have always been doing all the work. Right from the very minute I took them in till we find them a home.
These were the guys!
Panda and Garfield
Teddy and Picky
Regalia
Sky and Dopey
Toaster and Stormy
Tiara and Brielle
Mittens
Haruki
There is always a time for joy and sadness. However, the sadness often overwhelmed us. Even if I know it is like a tiny drop of dew…, a flickering lamp…, a flash of lightning…. and all conditioned existence to be seen.
It just happened so quickly and I always feel that I have never done enough…
Dahlia(Feb 2016 – 2 Feb 2021)
I remember pretty well that I saw Dahlia and the rest on 14 Feb 16. It was valentines day and I was rushing to get flowers and there I saw a heavily pregnant black Dahlia. She made me infamous in Storm. However, Dahlia and four tiny Dahlias were safe! 2 adopted and 2 with us.
Soha(July 18 – 27 Feb 21)
Soha was so tiny when we brought her back. She was hiding under the wheels. It was unsafe and we decided to bring her home. She was such lovely girl and always wanted to be pet. She loves bread. She will always have my shares and we often eat together.
Snowy (5 Aug 2015 – 26 Mar 2021)
This photo was taken on August 2015.
I remember she went missing for a couple of months before she was left as a stray again.
And one day, she went missing for 3 days and appeared one evening in an unusual location. I thought to myself, she could have walked back to where she always been. Hmm…something must have gone wrong with her legs… True indeed! Her front leg was broken. We brought her home, sent her to the vet and that was late August 2017 and she became our angel.
Snowy’s remainings. A broken bone with metal attached.
We cremated her yesterday and I requested to look at her remainings.
The metal was attached to Snowy’s broken leg. It was still broken and it was the metal that helped Snowy to walk again.
I don’t know what virus is out there killing them but I do hope it ends right now!
Many rescuers like me always feel that we never do enough for our rescues. I hope Mel and I have given all of them enough food, water, space and toys. They always have more… more than we give to ourselves.
Still…I would like to apologise to them for not protecting them and to prevent such virus from arising
“Bhikkhus, dwell with yourselves as an island, with yourselves as a refuge, with no other refuge; with the Dhamma as an island, with the Dhamma as a refuge, with no other refuge. ~ SN 22.43
“Enough, Vakkali! Why do you want to see this foul body? One who sees the Dhamma sees me; one who sees me sees the Dhamma. For in seeing the Dhamma,Vakkali, one sees me; and in seeing me, one sees the Dhamma.” ~ SN 22.87
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I highly recommend reading the sutta translated by Piya Tan. His "Laymen Saints" has been an inspiration to many lay people.
