Cats who teach me to fly…

Today sutta is Bahiya’s teachings. Ajahn Brahm explaination on the sutta was very clear. He explained the past life of Bahiya that led him to be enlightened in his very lifetime. Bahiya didn’t practise or meditate, he simply listened a few words from the Buddha and he was enlightened. The cause of his enlightenment was his hard work in his previous life.

Ajahn Brahm also explained what nimitta is. It’s actually a light where the dead see. The light that we often hear from people who experienced near death experiences. That’s the light that attracts the dead to come. Interesting!

Since the end of retreat is nearing, I decided to look at the sunset nearby. Perhaps I’ll never visit Jhana Grove again.

It’s definitely beautiful! Well… delusion actually! I was surprised that it wasn’t that cold in the evening.

During Q&A session, someone asked a question on why people see the images of the Buddha, Guanyin or Jesus etc… Ajahn Brahm replied it was actually they themselves that they are seeing and it is not a real Buddha or anyone that they are seeing. I must agree with him, however, those who are practising the Pureland teachings must be confident to know which is a delusive image and which is not.

Tonight, I’m closer to the Buddha Land…

Ajahn Brahm ended today’s session by telling us true ghost stories because someone requested. I already turn on the bathroom light to sleep every night. After listening to the stories, maybe I’ll have to turn on the main light to sleep. The weather is 16 degree celsius now. Few nights ago, it dropped to 6 degree celsius. I only brought a few clothes and repeatedly wearing the same clothes everyday.

I woke up early for the first session of chanting and meditation and I don’t remember I took any nap today. We went to Ajahn Brahm’s kuti after lunch. It was a small cave covered with big rocks. There were 3 retreatants in the cave with me and we have to experience his cave without light for one minute. There were so many thoughts running through my mind once the light was turned off. “Run! No, stay! Be brave, learn from Ajahn Brahm! That’s how the Buddha meditated under the tree in the forest. If I want to be like a Buddha, I must overcome darkness!” Finally, the light was turned on and I was relieved.

Above is the secret garden that Ajahn Brahm mentioned. I went with another retreatant and her name is Jos. Jos was meditating at the back while I was sitting in front. I should have sit further a little so that she could take a better picture.

Lesson of the day? Number 1: Not to listen to ghost stories before bedtime. Number 2: When fear arises, always think of the Buddha’s qualities. Number 3: According to Ajahn Brahm, darkness can be beautiful!

The last session is always Q&A and it always ended up with Ajahn Brahm’s “jokes”. For me it’s a good way to say good night and the opportunity to be able to listen to Ajahn Brahm’s talk on this particular day and time makes me feel fortunate!

Finally, after the last 4 days of struggle, my meditation finally takes its wings. Meditation was satisfactory. At least I’m seeing something. I got some inspiration from Ajahn Brahm in the morning talk, so I went to Bodhinyana monastery again after lunch to meditate and all went fine!

It was nice to see more people were meditating there today. After about an hour of meditation, I left with another retreatant.

Above photo was taken when we were on our way back to Jhana Grove.

The sutta in the afternoon was “The Greater Discourse to Saccaka”. There Buddha spoke about how he got enlightened again. I’ll never get tired of listening over and over again.

So what makes a great day today? Meditation!

I can’t believe that I’ve forgotten to sit for the talk at 8am. I was meditating in my room and I thought I still have time and did not realise that it was already 8.40am. I didn’t expect to take a nap in the evening and want to be at the meditation hall at 7pm but I dozed off instead.

I spent most of the time meditating and reading the Dharma books in my room throughout the day. Since I am here, I better cherish every moment that I have now.

Above is the view from where I stay. It’s not cold in the afternoon and that’s the time I love most and would prefer to go for a walk and do walking meditation as well. Birds are beautiful here. I saw birds in blue colour. Many of them and they remind me of Xiao’an.

What did I learn today? Experiencing nimittas is to purify our mind. When the nimittas cool down, we have to see what is left behind, that’s what Ajahn Brahm says. Ajahn Brahm often says after nimittas comes the Jhana. I guess that was what he meant. But do Jhana often come after nimittas? I will ask him tomorrow!

I didn’t get up on time, neither did I attend the early chanting and meditation at 6am. Breakfast starts at 6.45am, meaning everyone will be out for breakfast! It’s a good time for me to take a shower. The noise that was coming from my bathroom will not disturb anyone. After shower, I hurriedly went for breakfast. Took 2 bread for dinner to my room after breakfast as my gastric began to feel uncomfortable.

Ajahn Brahm’s talk at 8am brought me to tears. He was talking about his encounterment with the Down syndrome people during his younger days. He remember a Down syndrome boy came straight to him and gave him a hug. Although people with Down syndrome may find challenges in their life but they have their strength as well and their emotional intelligence could be so powerful. The boy who hugged him felt Ajahn Brahm’s pain at that time because his girlfriend broke up with him the night before.

Ajahn Brahm said that all trees in the forest are crooked. It’s normal to have Down syndrome or mental conditions of any kind and we shouldn’t be judgemental. Immediately when I heard this, tears began to fall. I’m not a neurotypical person. I’m so dumb at times and people often have to tell me what to do. But I’m ok. A good lesson to remember.

I planned to go to Bodhinyana monastery but I don’t intend to go alone. So I went around asking if anyone was going. Finally I found one who knows the way.

We saw these kangaroos along the way. Wish I could hug them.

Same thing in the evening. An hour of meditation and then Q&A. I think I’ll ask him some meditation questions tomorrow.