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I am fifty-one today. We, at least I, never thought that we would grow old when we were young. Time ticked by and I am not far away from the next rebirth. Ajahn Brahm would use, recycle instead of rebirth.

Unlike my siblings, they love to be surrounded with many people on their birthday, while I usually had meal with a friend or two. Mel bought me two small cakes last night. I ate half and kept the other half.

More than a week ago, I bought myself a Celestron Nexstar 4SE telescope as a present to myself and was anticipating to look into the galaxies. Spirit and Oppy are still in Mars. They should have turned rusty by now  I guess. However, things didn’t work out the way I wanted. One leg fell out from the tripod and no matter what I did, I just couldn’t view anything from the scope. I ended packing everything back and asked for a refund. The earliest time to pick up is today. Therefore, I had to spend the whole day today just to wait for ninja van to pick up. If they do come today, it’s a bonus! Usually they don’t and I always have to contact Amazon to get the confirmation from them.

Neatly packed up, just in case they reject it.

Everyday is as good as today. Birthday or not, there’s no difference. Yes, I have a contented life!:) Contentment begins with gratitude.

I had to get up a little early today because I need to prepare for ninja van to come if they are here at 9am. Well, it’s 10mins to 1pm now. No sight of them and hopefully later. Good thing is Starbucks is charging a $1.99 delivery fee. So I ordered my favourite iced mocha, without whipped cream with soya milk and a “fresh” juice. The delivery man came and I was busy preparing food for the cats at the kitchen. The man shouted at the corridor, “grab food, grab food” and I heard “cat food, cat food”. I replied, “ leave it at the door, leave it at the door” and he heard “leave it at the floor, leave it at the floor”. I just can’t stop laughing!

I should say, today’s mocha doesn’t taste the way I love it. The taste of mocha is not heavy. At times, they really tasted good! I still enjoy, knowing that soy milk is a healthy ingredient.

I am at the void deck with Toofy now. He is my companion for now.

Oh… Since I gave up the telescope, I bought an Apple watch strap. It’s time and my current strap is turning black.

I’ll soak and wash the strap and will use it again when the new one turns grey. Love it!

Toofy had a good time too.

Having community cats is healthy to the people and environment.

I have some guests as well.

The white bird was like “ hey, are you looking at me?”

NParks is still killing these little pigeons who only want to live like everybody else. I have met the MP, write to TC, NParks and even Mr Lawrence Wong but…

To the lovely pigeons, you were once a human’s companion, helping to send messages and even during war time. With the messages sent, you saved many lives. Today, humans see you as pests and finding all ways to get rid of you. Along with the animal activists and pigeons lover, we fought for you and are still fighting. We care! We need people who not only care for animals but also willing to be their voice. May there be growing populations of animal activists from now.

At 51, my legs seem heavy and weaker. I couldn’t leap up onto the bus like I once did. It’s so much heavier and requires more strength. I get tired easily and I love afternoon naps!:) I abandoned everything that is repeating and almost everything is a cycle. I’m more mindful in what I’m doing, understanding my limitations and better to live within my means. Renouncing the cycles of negative feelings and even the happy ones. Bringing all feelings to equanimity, so there’ll be less sufferings. Appreciation, contentment and living at the present bring so much inner joy and peace.

Ayya Khema said that suffering will continue but we will disappear. At first, I understood it as suffering continues and we will reach Nibbana, no longer having to suffer. The second time, I’ve understood that the suffering will continue and we’ll all be dead. Lastly, the suffering continues, a never-ending cycle, and we are impermanent. As a buddhist, I would take the first and third understanding as Ayya Khema’s interpretation.

For so many years and with more than 500 blogs that I’ve written, I’ve given thanks to almost everyone but not Mel. Today, I would like to thank Melanie for giving me so much support in the past and in whatever I do. Everything wouldn’t have happened without her.

Future? It’s empty there and I can only fill up what’s at the present.

May all sentient be safe and healthy. May they be able to take care of themselves. May loving-kindness fill the hearts of all beings and live harmoniously regardless of species!

Still sleeping…

Not wanting Kiki to sleep on the cardboard along the corridor and not wanting the people to playfully abused him, I decided to take him home.

His legs were already weak when he was on the street. He couldn’t jump but he sure was fierce and ready to fight. Kiki, I’ve googled the name, an ancient king in India who was called Kiki too!

Kiki was already old when he was abandoned. Everyone cares for him. When I took him home, there were people who asked his whereabouts which I was glad. It told me that people do care for the community cats.

Kiki had his meals a few times a day. It is definitely safe to be home. I hope Kiki had a good two years with us. To all the cats who have passed on, I truly hope all of you could stay a little longer… and Kiki is no exception.

There is a blog post that has been in my draft for quite a while. I told myself that I have to complete the post so that I could dedicate the merits to Kiki, Tom and all sentient beings.

I started to read again, organise and revised the draft. I found Ayya Khema’s teachings recently and her teachings align with the Buddha’s teachings and I wanted so much to share, however, something kept holding me back. Kiki’s passing perks me up. Thanks Kiki!

I would like to dedicate this merit to Kiki, Tom and all sentient beings. May the quotes taken from Ayya Khema’s book, the Path to Peace, inspire all those who read them.

Below is the link to the quotes taken from “The Path to Peace”.

https://mindfuldhamma.wordpress.com/2024/12/01/the-path-to-peace-by-ayya-khema/

And may the merits accumulated be dedicated to Kiki’s favourable rebirth.

Thanks Xiumin for sponsoring Kiki’s cremation.

The book, the Path to Peace, Ayya Khema explained the fifteen conditions on the Metta (loving-kindness) Sutta, which was taught by the Buddha, that will help us to lead to the path of peace. Below is The Metta Sutta.

The Metta Sutta

The Buddha’s Words on Loving-Kindness (Sutta Nipata 1.8)

Translated by Ven. Khantipalo

What should be done by one who is skilled in wholesomeness. To gain the state of peacefulness is this :

One must be able, upright, straight and not proud. Easy to speak to, mild and well content. Easily satisfied and not caught up in too much bustle. And frugal in one’s way, With senses calm, intelligent, not bold. Not being covetous when with other folk. Abstaining from the way that wise ones blame.

And this the thought that one should always hold: “May beings all live happily and safe and may their hearts rejoice within themselves. Whatever there may be with breath of life. Whether they be frail or very strong, without exception. Be they long or short or middle-size. Or be they big or small, or thick, or visible, or invisible. Or whether they dwell far or they dwell near, Those that are here, those seeking to exist, may beings all rejoice within themselves.”

Let no one bring about another’s ruin And not despise in any way of place. Let them not wish each other any ill. From provocation or from enmity. Just as a mother at the rise of life loves and protects her child, her only child.

So one should cultivate this boundless love to all that live in the world universe, extending from a consciousness sublime, upwards and downwards and across the world. Untroubled, free from hate and enmity. And while one stands, and while one walks and sits. Or one lies down still free from drowsiness. One should be intent on this mindfulness.

This is divine abiding here they say. But when one lives quite free from any view, is virtuous, with perfect inside won and greed for sensual desires expelled, one sure comes no more to any womb.

Below are the quotes from “The Path to Peace”:

1. One Should Be Able

“The first condition is that one should be able. This means something quite ordinary. One should have ability. One should have learnt something. Learning and studying was greatly prized by the Buddha and also by his disciples. And it is as well in our time.”

2. Upright

“The next condition is to be upright. “Upright”  is a word that we might not use very much. To be upright means to be truthful, to be reliable and responsible. To be truthful to others as a matter of course. But to be truthful to oneself of oneself – and that is much more difficult.”

3. Straight

“The next quality the Buddha mentions is to be straight. Now straight of course is similar to being upright, but it also means to be straightforward. The Buddha was very straightforward. When he thought it was stupid, he said it was stupid. He didn’t go around trying to hurt anyone, but he also didn’t try to hide behind nice words. He said flattery is also lying. It’s got to be straightforward truth.”

“To be straightforward necessitates  knowing oneself. If one doesn’t know, oneself, the straightforwardness can easily become an insult. That’s not what is meant. If one knows oneself, then one is able to speak straightforward from one’s own  experience. Then it’s not insulting but it can be illuminating.”

4. Not Proud

“Pride shows itself when we have a notion that we are something special, different, or something that we can put our finger on. We are in total flux, so that’s ill placed. But pride is something that people have as an underlying support system. And if we become aware of that, we can, of course, let go. But it is difficult to be aware of it.”

5. Easy to speak to

“Being easy to speak to is gaining that skill where we can let the ego subside long enough and be humble enough so that it will not create a disturbances. All disturbances that exist are created by the ego; there’s no other disturbance possible.”

6. Mild

“Mildness comes out first of all in one’s thoughts, and if one can have a grasp of the fact that there’s far more in the universe that meets the eye, literally speaking, one should start to be a little more humble about it. And aggressiveness will go.”

“We could say that being mild is equivalent to harmlessness, which is another way of saying that we don’t want to do anything to any creature that we wouldn’t like to have done to ourselves.”

“The more we assert ourselves, the less we’ll have peacefulness.”

“And if you don’t look after our self and aren’t mild towards ourselves, then it will be difficult to do this with others.”

“We maybe can do it intellectually, and the more our intellect is roaming around in our head. The better we think we can do it. Unfortunately that doesn’t work. It’s extremely unpleasant, because again and again we get a reaction from outside of us which shows us quite clearly that we didn’t do what we thought we were doing. It’s only when the heart speaks that we get the response that the heart of others can give.”

“Sensitivity means being more strongly aware. Being more strongly aware of one’s feelings and feelings around one. So for meditators it’s easier to become more sensitive.”

7. Well Content

“Contentment is one of the aspects which the Buddha mentions as needing to come before meditation.”

“So we need to be contented with everything that is ours – for example, our body, even if it’s sick. It’s alright, it doesn’t matter; all bodies get sick at one time or another; it’s only a matter of time. Sometimes they get well again, and sometimes they don’t. So we need to be contented with our surroundings, with the people that we are with, with our own abilities, with our whole way of having a place in this creation.”

“Sometimes having more brings with it wanting even more. And sometimes it brings utter discontent because of the fact that one can see that despite all the things that one has amass, none of them have kept their promise.”

“We are limiting ourselves, our potential is infinite – namely, to experience infinity and then knowing that within that infinity nothing and nobody is there.”

“So to be well content has to be now, and not after we have finished the next step on our proposed journey in this lifetime. Now. This moment has to be well content, because then we can go on to the next moment, and recognise that each moment is actually infinity, eternity, as long as we stay with the moment. When we have that as an understanding, some of our craving will reduce itself. It won’t disappear, but it will reduce itself.”

“But if we want to meditate, if we want to have peacefulness within in order to meditate and have loving kindness, to be contented is one of the necessary requirements with which to sit down. It means that there is a humble recognition that the whole of creation is exactly that in which we can find our footing. That we can connect to all of it and we need not be anything special.”

8. Easily Satisfied

“Contentment means to be right there, at this time, so we have to be easily satisfied.”

“It’s an absurdity, because the sense contact is momentary, and it has to be renewed constantly in order to bring any satisfaction. And if it’s renewed too often it doesn’t bring any satisfaction anymore.”

“So, the senses will never satisfied the mind.”

“If we can see that contentment depends entirely upon being easily satisfied with what is now, and not think of what we have to do tomorrow, next week, next year, 10 years from now…”

“The body can be painful, but the mind can still be peaceful. The sense contact may be totally neutral, no particular pleasure, but the mine can remain peaceful. It doesn’t have to be constantly alert itself to the sense contact.”

9. Not Caught Up in Too Much Bustle

“The more we try to prove that we are somebody, the less we have a chance to become nobody. And that’s what Nirvana is all about.”

“If our activities take us anywhere, we want them to take us out of dukkha.”

10. Frugal in One’s Way

“Frugality is considered to be a great virtue. No frugality is not synonymous with penny-pinching. Frugality means that one is respectful, respectful of the things that others have made or manufactured. It also means that we don’t fall into the error that our society has fallen into, a throwaway society.”

“Being careful with the things that have been made, watching over them, and repairing them, and using them to the last possible moment.”

11. With Senses Calmed

The mind which has a lot of sensual desire is an agitated mind.

To be contented, to be easily satisfied, to be frugal, these all go in the same direction- towards letting go.

“With senses calmed” is such an important point that the Buddha has it in innumerable suttas.

12. Intelligent

Intelligent is a mind that can make connections, they can connect one thing to another and thereby see the significance. If one can connect one’s own behaviour to the underlying tendencies of hate and greed, one knows what goes on. That’s intelligence.

13. Not Bold

And that is the equivalent to being mild.

The dependency on others, whomever that might be, is a complete bondage, which prevents growth on the spiritual path.

14. Not Being Covetous When with Other Folk

The next condition is not being covetous when with other folk. That’s one way of translation. Another way of translation that is “not being swayed by emotions of the crowd”.

Joy with others is the third one of the four brahma-vihāras, the divine abidings, the paradise within, the highest emotions. It is a skill that needs to be practised. It needs intelligence. Practically all of this needs intelligence because it needs the insight to recognise how damaging envy is to oneself. 

When one understands that everything good that happens in the world is also part of oneself, then it’s much easier. But when one is still completely self-centred and self cherishing, and only concerned with one’s own well-being, then one can’t see that. But when we see that the world is togetherness of many different phenomena, then is easy to have joy with others.

15. And Abstain from the ways That Wise One’s Blame

To abstain from the way that the wise ones blame means that one does one’s best to actually follow the five precepts.

Conclusion: Ayya Khema used our galaxy as a comparison to our problems. When we compare our problems to the scale of the universe, they seem so minute. She also quoted “The Buddha said that one can’t stand still; it’s impossible”, and further  explained that there’s nothing that stands still in a person; one either grows or retards. We either grow in our understanding and purity, or we’re going backwards. So, maybe in the context of the size of this universe, we might see this as a personal goal.

*Ayya Khema’s ‘The Path to Peace’ can be purchased from Amazon and both ebook and hardcopy is available at the Singapore National Library.

Our vet texted us that there was a family roaming at the construction site and was asking for help. Being unable to take in anymore mummy and kittens, I was so stressed throughout the day. Although I had posted on Facebook seeking for help, still I wasn’t confident that someone would come forward to help. Recusers’ hands are always full and we have our cats to take care of at home as well as in our feeding areas. But my guts told me that I had to try. If no one came forward, my last resort was to sterilise the mummy first, release her and wait for the kittens to grow old… I must admit that I was a little inconsiderate at that moment as I was very stressed with who was going to help the family.

In the video I can see that the kittens are pretty big enough to eat by themselves, therefore, I wasn’t worried about them even when their mummy wasn’t with them. However, Mdm Law, a long time rescuer, contacted me. She went down to take a look on that very evening and told me that the mummy is an one-eyed cat and the kittens are around two months plus of age. My mind didn’t register the kittens ‘ age until Mdm Law told me that we cannot separate the mummy and kittens. At that split second, I finally recalled how three- months kittens were like. Yes, they need their mummy.

TNR can only sterilise the mummy but couldn’t take in the kittens. When Mdm Law visited the cats, she didn’t tell me that she would take over the case. However, when I told her that TNR has arranged trapper to trap the mummy, she told me that she’ll take care of the cats. I personally contacted the trapper and told him that I’ll take care of them.

According to Mdm Law, she took eight hours to trap them. Someone ever told me that Mdm Law is very patient with trapping cats. In fact, the minute I heard Mdm Law volunteered to take over the case, I felt relieved! I am someone who doesn’t like paying lip service. Having understood that taking care of them and rehoming them is not an easy task, the least I could do was to make a little donation. This way, it could relieve Mdm Law’s burden a little. I told Mel we’ll donate again next month.

I’m completely glad that the family received help from an experienced rescuer. To have someone like Mdm Law to step forward to help was not what I’ve expected. Like I said earlier, I didn’t expect anyone to come forward. From here, I’ve learned that I must not let stress blind my vision. How could I separate mummy from her three-month-old kittens? But what would I have done if Mdm Law didn’t come forward…? I probably had to feed them every night until all are ready to be sterilised and at the same time, waiting for help!

Thanks Mdm Law for taking care of the cats. May this be the last news and last rescue that I’ll receive from my vet. In other words, may there be no more cases of abandoned cats and kittens. Mel and I are tired and we need to retire…

Tom was an alpha cat at Malcom Road. He chased almost every cat away except those he loved. We suspected Specky’s pregnancy was caused by him and Tara is his kitty. Tara still played with him even when they were brought home. The Operation Manager at SJI attempted to trap them six years ago. Only some were trapped. As a responsible feeder, I wanted all of them to be safe. I decided to negotiate with the OM. After much persuasion, he released all to me. I would consider him to be a kind man. The rest of the cats that were not caught were trapped by me and Tom was one of them!

It wasn’t easy to trap Tom. He tried to move away from the trap as far as he could. Mel said he even told Specky not to go near the trap. Specky was caught using a drop trap. That was the only time we used drop trap and buying a drop trap didn’t come cheap. Well, it was for them..:). Since Tom was hard to trap, we engaged a trapper.

汤姆生

Tom was an aggressive cat. He chased all the cats away and always initiated fights. When he was caught and kept in the cage, he hissed and spat at me all the time. Specky and Tara too. I couldn’t touch or go near Tom at all. One day, we found him vomitting blood and worms. Worms that were still alive and swam in the blood that he vomitted…

We decided to send him to the best vet clinic, ARVC. Dr Eunice attended to Tom. Because of his aggressiveness, they had to use the burrito method. They gave him strong medication to kill the worms inside him and we let him stayed in the hospital for a few days as we couldn’t handle Tom. I remember when I visited Tom in the hospital, he was wrapped into a burrito and only his eyes were moving. I can’t help but to laugh.

Tom was all well and was discharged. We kept him in the cage and he was still as aggressive as he was. I fed him with good meals twice a day. Food that he loved and finally one day, he came over to me and rubbed his head against me. Specky changed her behaviour too. I was touched by their behaviour.

As days, weeks and months went by, Tom exhibited so much love towards other cats. He stopped fighting and ended his aggression. He became an obedient home cat. It’s hard even to find a human who is willing to change, let alone an animal. But Tom, he spoke the true Dhamma! How?

Buddha never use the word reincarnation but rebirth. All things happen through cause and conditions. When Tom was in the wild, he was a bad Tom but when the conditions changed, Tom was a good Tom. The conditions supported him to be a good sentient being. Akin to rebirth. How we behave is based on conditions at that point of time. That is to say, I may be kind to help others today but if I were to be born in a place where food is scarce, I may have to rob, steal and even kill. Therefore, reincarnation is not the appropriate word to use in Buddhism.

Lovely Tom

Tom was a good example of cause and conditions. Just like the cats who have passed on, due to the condition living in a buddhist family, may 生生 have all the conditions to practise the Dhamma in his next life.

May the merits accumulated be dedicated to Tom.