Cats who teach me to fly…

I did the flower arrangement this morning for Miemi.

Last week I did this for her.

Cashie and Monnie want to be photographed too:).

Miemi has gone for more than six months. I didn’t love her any less. I miss her everyday and tell her I love her everyday. Nothing change. Nothing will ever change.

I saw two huge eagles this morning. They produced noises that were so loud and unusual that I had to looked up and see what it was. Nobody seemed to look up except the cats and I. I screamed “WOW” and hopefully no one heard me cos I might look silly to them. However, no one seemed to notice the eagles or me.

The eagles ignited my curiosity. I wish I could look after one:). Eagles, hawks and snow owls, they are beautiful birds.

Mel was so funny and thinks one of the eagle could be Miemi. Well, I don’t rule that out. Nothing is impossible! I told Mel that when Miemi returns, we will know it’s her :).

Looking at the flower arrangement I did this morning on Miemi’s alter, I smile and look at Miemi’s photo. I want Miemi to know how much her Mummy loves and misses her.

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I brought this beautiful cat for sterilisation last Wednesday, 21 Aug 13.

She is a beautiful cat and has a feeder. Her feeder does not keep her indoor and allow her to roam around. It is such a waste for such a beautiful cat to have her ear tipped. However, if the cat is roaming on the street, It is always best to have her ear tipped.

The feeder seems to love her a lot. Somehow I felt that the feeder is not making enough effort to keep her indoor or to take care of her fully. I hope her feeder will change her mind one day to keep her indoor and loves her forever. Be responsible when she is sick and gets old.

I met her feeder yesterday. She told me the cat is doing fine and I am glad that the cat is doing well after her sterilisation.

There are still plenty of cats that need to sterilise below my block. These cats are not fed by me so it is difficult for me to get close to them to send them for sterilisation, however, I will try to get close to them. I guess Baby would be the next one to be sent for sterilisation.

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I have been busy with the cats everyday. I finally make myself free in the evening and retire early to bed. I still feed Queenie and Puss just now but I fed them early to have more time for myself at night.

I felt meaningless when I persuaded myself not to feed Queenie just now. I mean not feeding them and stay home to watch TV instead. Well, that’s really meaningless to me. I felt happy to see Queenie and the rest had their fill. Especially Baby. He has grown so much. He is with Daddy again:).

Two weeks ago while I was driving, Mel saw this rainbow.

It was not raining that day but we saw this rainbow. Mel was so happy when she saw it. I was happy too and we began to talk about Miemi. We believe Miemi must be over the rainbow, in the meadow, playing with her friends. We missed Miemi. We never stop talking about Miemi. Miemi is always in our mind.

This pot of chrysanthemum is not perfect but still I hope Miemi loves it.

Yes, I still feel Miemi around:).

I am going to be busy with work tomorrow. Hmm… I am going to be strict to myself and set a daily target to complete my tasks so that I will have money to buy more food for all the cats. I feel like adopting Puss when I move to my new flat. The only thing that bothers me is that Puss always attacks Cashie and Monnie. I don’t want anything to affect both Cashie and Monnie. Maybe I should browse the web and search for information on ways to get along among cats.

This is Puss.

She is cool, isn’t she? Photo taken by Mel.

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Friday used to mean a lot to me in the past. Now, every day is meaningful to me.

When I used to work 5 days a week from 8.30am to 5.30pm, I was always looking forward for Friday cos weekend was my off day. So Friday gave me a light-hearted feeling. Always looking forward for Friday. Life remained dull from Monday to Thursday. In fact, I have nothing special to do on Fridays too. Just because it is end of the week, I just feel happy.

Now, I no longer look forward for Friday. Every day is equally meaningful to me. I am doing the things that I love and I don’t think about my past and neither do I worry about my future. I just want to stay calm at the moment. I don’t care how I am going to die. I only care what I can and what i am doing now.

I am still able to walk, then make good use of it and walk around and feed the strays. My body is still strong, then help the weak. I am still mentally sound, then read more, gain knowledge, contemplate and be enlightened.

Life is simple, live simply.

I might not have many friends but I have cats. Cats that teach me how to live and love. People find us pathetic because we have cats as soul mates and those people who find us pathetic have never really love an animal before. This is something profound and it is not something that can be expressed by words.

After living for nearly half a century, I have realised that we actually live for ourselves. Many times I heard people saying that because of you… I do this and that… The truth is, we are actually living for ourselves but we think we are living for others. No, we are not… We never live for others.

Life is a cycle… I ask myself if I am tired of coming back again and again. Yes, I am but it will be even worst not to come back. I am not attached to the material world here but I am attached to the people and animals that need help. I can’t save the world which I wish I could but I hope to make a little difference to a person’s or animal’s life. Just one and I will be contented, although not fulfilling. Even if it is just Miemi and next life we will be together again and I will enlighten her with my wisdom and next life again and again until she becomes a human or perhaps she reincarnates as a human in her next life and I will still teach and guide her, not to let her go astray. Life after life until she is wise to help others and the cycle repeats and repeats itself again.

Perhaps I am dreaming.

In order to teach and guide another soul in the next life, one has to do good not in school results or in the career performance but in moral. A right attitude towards others. Right action, right intention, right mindfulness… One has to practise good in this life in order for us or should I say, for me, to teach and guide Miemi again in my next life. Maybe… maybe Miemi would be the one who is guiding me again:).

Whatever it is, these are just bit and pieces of my thought. But I am serious about helping souls in my next life.

Little Miemi, we will be together again.

Sigh… Little Cashie…

and little Monnie…

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Mel recently took a photo of me. I loaded up the photos to my desktop yesterday. When I clicked on my photo and looked at myself, I realised that the years are showing on my face. Especially around my eyes. Yes, I have grown old. My eyes say a lot. The ups and downs, the pain and joy, the valuable lessons that I have learnt along the way. I have learnt to accept things that I didn’t want to or should I say I was force to accept reality that I didn’t want to. One after another and each and every time it teaches me to grow. To love and to be compassionated. To be understanding and forgiving. They are all written on my face. My heart ached for myself:). I told myself that I have to treat myself well. Not to treat myself well in a materialistic way but to forgive myself when I make mistakes. To have an open heart and broader mind. To ignore criticism. To always stay calm. To have a relax mind. To not influence by others. To love and be myself. How do I achieve this? I guess the only way to achieve these is through meditation.

I will and have to start meditating. In fact I have already started. Not by sitting down to meditate but to meditate wherever I go and whatever I do. I bring myself to concentrate on what I am doing and whenever my mind wonders around, I bring it back. It is not easy, I have to keep reminding myself.

Sometimes I wonder if Miemi notices any changes in me. I mean physical changes. She was with me when I was 27. Now that I am 40. I believe she should have noticed it. I don’t know if she can recognise me in another next ten or twenty years if I am still alive. I know she is around and will always be around for me and I will also always be around for her. I know, we know our connection. We always know.

I did a flower arrangement for her. Three stalks of sunshine for her.

It is Monnie’s turn to shine!

I hope Miemi love what I have done for her. Knowing that I always love her.

Hope I will be enlightened in my years ahead.

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