Cats who teach me to fly…

I am fifty-one today. We, at least I, never thought that we would grow old when we were young. Time ticked by and I am not far away from the next rebirth. Ajahn Brahm would use, recycle instead of rebirth.

Unlike my siblings, they love to be surrounded with many people on their birthday, while I usually had meal with a friend or two. Mel bought me two small cakes last night. I ate half and kept the other half.

More than a week ago, I bought myself a Celestron Nexstar 4SE telescope as a present to myself and was anticipating to look into the galaxies. Spirit and Oppy are still in Mars. They should have turned rusty by now  I guess. However, things didn’t work out the way I wanted. One leg fell out from the tripod and no matter what I did, I just couldn’t view anything from the scope. I ended packing everything back and asked for a refund. The earliest time to pick up is today. Therefore, I had to spend the whole day today just to wait for ninja van to pick up. If they do come today, it’s a bonus! Usually they don’t and I always have to contact Amazon to get the confirmation from them.

Neatly packed up, just in case they reject it.

Everyday is as good as today. Birthday or not, there’s no difference. Yes, I have a contented life!:) Contentment begins with gratitude.

I had to get up a little early today because I need to prepare for ninja van to come if they are here at 9am. Well, it’s 10mins to 1pm now. No sight of them and hopefully later. Good thing is Starbucks is charging a $1.99 delivery fee. So I ordered my favourite iced mocha, without whipped cream with soya milk and a “fresh” juice. The delivery man came and I was busy preparing food for the cats at the kitchen. The man shouted at the corridor, “grab food, grab food” and I heard “cat food, cat food”. I replied, “ leave it at the door, leave it at the door” and he heard “leave it at the floor, leave it at the floor”. I just can’t stop laughing!

I should say, today’s mocha doesn’t taste the way I love it. The taste of mocha is not heavy. At times, they really tasted good! I still enjoy, knowing that soy milk is a healthy ingredient.

I am at the void deck with Toofy now. He is my companion for now.

Oh… Since I gave up the telescope, I bought an Apple watch strap. It’s time and my current strap is turning black.

I’ll soak and wash the strap and will use it again when the new one turns grey. Love it!

Toofy had a good time too.

Having community cats is healthy to the people and environment.

I have some guests as well.

The white bird was like “ hey, are you looking at me?”

NParks is still killing these little pigeons who only want to live like everybody else. I have met the MP, write to TC, NParks and even Mr Lawrence Wong but…

To the lovely pigeons, you were once a human’s companion, helping to send messages and even during war time. With the messages sent, you saved many lives. Today, humans see you as pests and finding all ways to get rid of you. Along with the animal activists and pigeons lover, we fought for you and are still fighting. We care! We need people who not only care for animals but also willing to be their voice. May there be growing populations of animal activists from now.

At 51, my legs seem heavy and weaker. I couldn’t leap up onto the bus like I once did. It’s so much heavier and requires more strength. I get tired easily and I love afternoon naps!:) I abandoned everything that is repeating and almost everything is a cycle. I’m more mindful in what I’m doing, understanding my limitations and better to live within my means. Renouncing the cycles of negative feelings and even the happy ones. Bringing all feelings to equanimity, so there’ll be less sufferings. Appreciation, contentment and living at the present bring so much inner joy and peace.

Ayya Khema said that suffering will continue but we will disappear. At first, I understood it as suffering continues and we will reach Nibbana, no longer having to suffer. The second time, I’ve understood that the suffering will continue and we’ll all be dead. Lastly, the suffering continues, a never-ending cycle, and we are impermanent. As a buddhist, I would take the first and third understanding as Ayya Khema’s interpretation.

For so many years and with more than 500 blogs that I’ve written, I’ve given thanks to almost everyone but not Mel. Today, I would like to thank Melanie for giving me so much support in the past and in whatever I do. Everything wouldn’t have happened without her.

Future? It’s empty there and I can only fill up what’s at the present.

May all sentient be safe and healthy. May they be able to take care of themselves. May loving-kindness fill the hearts of all beings and live harmoniously regardless of species!

Still sleeping…

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Not wanting Kiki to sleep on the cardboard along the corridor and not wanting the people to playfully abused him, I decided to take him home.

His legs were already weak when he was on the street. He couldn’t jump but he sure was fierce and ready to fight. Kiki, I’ve googled the name, an ancient king in India who was called Kiki too!

Kiki was already old when he was abandoned. Everyone cares for him. When I took him home, there were people who asked his whereabouts which I was glad. It told me that people do care for the community cats.

Kiki had his meals a few times a day. It is definitely safe to be home. I hope Kiki had a good two years with us. To all the cats who have passed on, I truly hope all of you could stay a little longer… and Kiki is no exception.

There is a blog post that has been in my draft for quite a while. I told myself that I have to complete the post so that I could dedicate the merits to Kiki, Tom and all sentient beings.

I started to read again, organise and revised the draft. I found Ayya Khema’s teachings recently and her teachings align with the Buddha’s teachings and I wanted so much to share, however, something kept holding me back. Kiki’s passing perks me up. Thanks Kiki!

I would like to dedicate this merit to Kiki, Tom and all sentient beings. May the quotes taken from Ayya Khema’s book, the Path to Peace, inspire all those who read them.

Below is the link to the quotes taken from “The Path to Peace”.

https://mindfuldhamma.wordpress.com/2024/12/01/the-path-to-peace-by-ayya-khema/

And may the merits accumulated be dedicated to Kiki’s favourable rebirth.

Thanks Xiumin for sponsoring Kiki’s cremation.

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Our vet texted us that there was a family roaming at the construction site and was asking for help. Being unable to take in anymore mummy and kittens, I was so stressed throughout the day. Although I had posted on Facebook seeking for help, still I wasn’t confident that someone would come forward to help. Recusers’ hands are always full and we have our cats to take care of at home as well as in our feeding areas. But my guts told me that I had to try. If no one came forward, my last resort was to sterilise the mummy first, release her and wait for the kittens to grow old… I must admit that I was a little inconsiderate at that moment as I was very stressed with who was going to help the family.

In the video I can see that the kittens are pretty big enough to eat by themselves, therefore, I wasn’t worried about them even when their mummy wasn’t with them. However, Mdm Law, a long time rescuer, contacted me. She went down to take a look on that very evening and told me that the mummy is an one-eyed cat and the kittens are around two months plus of age. My mind didn’t register the kittens ‘ age until Mdm Law told me that we cannot separate the mummy and kittens. At that split second, I finally recalled how three- months kittens were like. Yes, they need their mummy.

TNR can only sterilise the mummy but couldn’t take in the kittens. When Mdm Law visited the cats, she didn’t tell me that she would take over the case. However, when I told her that TNR has arranged trapper to trap the mummy, she told me that she’ll take care of the cats. I personally contacted the trapper and told him that I’ll take care of them.

According to Mdm Law, she took eight hours to trap them. Someone ever told me that Mdm Law is very patient with trapping cats. In fact, the minute I heard Mdm Law volunteered to take over the case, I felt relieved! I am someone who doesn’t like paying lip service. Having understood that taking care of them and rehoming them is not an easy task, the least I could do was to make a little donation. This way, it could relieve Mdm Law’s burden a little. I told Mel we’ll donate again next month.

I’m completely glad that the family received help from an experienced rescuer. To have someone like Mdm Law to step forward to help was not what I’ve expected. Like I said earlier, I didn’t expect anyone to come forward. From here, I’ve learned that I must not let stress blind my vision. How could I separate mummy from her three-month-old kittens? But what would I have done if Mdm Law didn’t come forward…? I probably had to feed them every night until all are ready to be sterilised and at the same time, waiting for help!

Thanks Mdm Law for taking care of the cats. May this be the last news and last rescue that I’ll receive from my vet. In other words, may there be no more cases of abandoned cats and kittens. Mel and I are tired and we need to retire…

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Tom was an alpha cat at Malcom Road. He chased almost every cat away except those he loved. We suspected Specky’s pregnancy was caused by him and Tara is his kitty. Tara still played with him even when they were brought home. The Operation Manager at SJI attempted to trap them six years ago. Only some were trapped. As a responsible feeder, I wanted all of them to be safe. I decided to negotiate with the OM. After much persuasion, he released all to me. I would consider him to be a kind man. The rest of the cats that were not caught were trapped by me and Tom was one of them!

It wasn’t easy to trap Tom. He tried to move away from the trap as far as he could. Mel said he even told Specky not to go near the trap. Specky was caught using a drop trap. That was the only time we used drop trap and buying a drop trap didn’t come cheap. Well, it was for them..:). Since Tom was hard to trap, we engaged a trapper.

Tom was an aggressive cat. He chased all the cats away and always initiated fights. When he was caught and kept in the cage, he hissed and spat at me all the time. Specky and Tara too. I couldn’t touch or go near Tom at all. One day, we found him vomitting blood and worms. Worms that were still alive and swam in the blood that he vomitted…

We decided to send him to the best vet clinic, ARVC. Dr Eunice attended to Tom. Because of his aggressiveness, they had to use the burrito method. They gave him strong medication to kill the worms inside him and we let him stayed in the hospital for a few days as we couldn’t handle Tom. I remember when I visited Tom in the hospital, he was wrapped into a burrito and only his eyes were moving. I can’t help but to laugh.

Tom was all well and was discharged. We kept him in the cage and he was still as aggressive as he was. I fed him with good meals twice a day. Food that he loved and finally one day, he came over to me and rubbed his head against me. Specky changed her behaviour too. I was touched by their behaviour.

As days, weeks and months went by, Tom exhibited so much love towards other cats. He stopped fighting and ended his aggression. He became an obedient home cat. It’s hard even to find a human who is willing to change, let alone an animal. But Tom, he spoke the true Dhamma! How?

Buddha never use the word reincarnation but rebirth. All things happen through cause and conditions. When Tom was in the wild, he was a bad Tom but when the conditions changed, Tom was a good Tom. The conditions supported him to be a good sentient being. Akin to rebirth. How we behave is based on conditions at that point of time. That is to say, I may be kind to help others today but if I were to be born in a place where food is scarce, I may have to rob, steal and even kill. Therefore, reincarnation is not the appropriate word to use in Buddhism.

Tom was a good example of cause and conditions. Just like the cats who have passed on, due to the condition living in a buddhist family, may 生生 have all the conditions to practise the Dhamma in his next life.

May the merits accumulated be dedicated to Tom.

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It is moving towards letting go. How? Through meditation! After 800 hours of meditation, whatever thoughts that manifest in my mind would eventually return to the concentration which we always bring back when our thoughts drift away. It’s the same when unwholesome thoughts arise, but in a way that less effort is used to restrain such thoughts.

Attaining Jhana is no longer a concern anymore. What matters is right concentration. A mind free of unwholesome thoughts, non-grasping and peaceful. Lights often indicate a peaceful and a still mind with joy. Better still, when thought ceases  nothing is left but concentration. Sustaining it requires long periods of training. Being always patiently living at the present is the best training.

The twelve dependent origination begins with ignorance and it definitely ends with ignorance. That is why when the final fetter, ignorance is being eradicated, one becomes an Arhat!

Volitional formation which is the fourth aggregate, when understood correctly, makes it easier for the six sense base to be restrained. Understanding that the five aggregates with clear comprehension which are non-self, impermanence and the root of suffering, especially volition formation, helps practising non-clinging in a right way.

The process of experiencing the Dhamma is never easy. Buddha never said that there will be happiness when one experiences dispassion and cessation but more towards the feeling of equanimity. The period of transformation is a long process filled with gradual progression. Bit by bit and little by little…

One should not be complacent. There are more, so much more for me to practise. Sometimes, when Dhamma is being put aside during an argument, I would always laugh at myself. Understanding that the path to cessation wouldn’t allow me to do so. There is no self after all. We are in no control and whatever that is happening around us is based on cause and conditions. Confidence arises through threading the Eightfold Path and when understood and experienced correctly, it is indeed beautiful in the beginning, beautiful in the middle and beautiful in the end!

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