Cats who teach me to fly…

I have been taking things slowly. This reminds me of the Plum Village retreat that I attended years ago. Everything we did was slow and easy. I think with covid19 right now, many can afford to do things slow and easy. No place to go. No where to hurry. I am free. I am free. I am free.:)

This morning I wrote this to Mel…

舍了时间 (we give our time…)
舍了空间 (space…)
舍了金钱 (money…)
舍了精力 (energy…)
舍了慈爱 (loving kindness…)
舍了眼泪 (tears…)
也舍了它。。。(our rescues…)

We did everything we could for the community cats. If I say I want nothing in return, then I probably would be lying. Yes, I hope that the cats repay me through practising the Dharma when they meet the dharma immediately the next life or even many lifetimes ahead. This has always been my wish, my prayer and my hope.

I am taking a break from the dharma. However, my mind has never left the dharma. I wonder If anyone after taking a break would return to the dharma or if anyone ever does that… and what happens if they have forgotten about it?

Not doing any meditation. Not any chanting. But making use of every little thing that is happening around me to practise the dharma. 

Just two days ago, while I was taking my breakfast, I was looking at some words printed on a carton box which is about 2 to 3 feet away from me. The words were blurred. Double image. Everything in front of me was kind of blurred and I began to panick and fear arose. Such feelings remained for only a few seconds. The next thought I had in my mind was “everything is conditioned, nothing really exists. There is no “me” right from the day when I was born. Through conditions, this and that made up of me. I have no control of it.” Immediately the fear in me disappeared. At that moment, I realised that the correct understanding of emptiness is important. With the experience I had 2 days ago, it will help me through old, sickness and death. The concept of physical body is eradicated. 

And so what’s next? 

On the same day 2 days ago in the evening. I saw a few man working around the garbage bin opposite my block. They were using a metal stick hitting hard on the garbage bin. The man hit on something so hard that it gave a loud squeak. A squeak that says “please let me go! This is unbearably painful! I want to live! I had done nothing wrong! I just need a place to live and eat…” I was sure it was either a mouse or kitten. I was thinking to myself that I may be able to save whatever they were hitting. So I went to see what was going on. The people were still hitting the bin hard to force the rats out of it and I saw 3 rats already lying dead on the floor. The moment when I looked at those dead rats, I told myself they could be happy like us if this hadn’t happened. They would be running and playing around freely that night and their lives aren’t supposed to be terminated like that. Maybe maybe there is another humane way of ending their lives. A way of freeing their lives to end their lives…  A lady was standing beside me watching which I believe to be the contractor to deal with these rats. I told her that these people need to quit their job and I walked away. I paused awhile after walking a few steps. Chanting was the only thing that I can do for the rats. My compassion went to the people who killed. I rang Mel and told her what happened. I got her to chant for the rats as well. This time, I have learned nothing to expect but just to chant. As usual, there is not one thing that is beautiful about samsara.

Years of practising the dharma and understanding the bodhi mind have not really disappeared. I thought it would. It is deeply rooted in me and yet we had to learn to let go. Cos even the dharma arises through conditions…